Life update and other nonsense

So, sea changes.

I've never experienced what I now consider to be a sea change—the kind of thing that jolts you out of your life and sets you on a new course. But, wow, when they come, they don't pull any punches. 

My own personal, and pretty damn unpleasant, sea change came in the form of losing the person I was closest to, my mom. I still have trouble typing that and it's why I never mentioned anything in my last two posts—it was just impossible. The reason I'm posting this now is because I can still say that she died last year. 

Perspective being everything, my mom was pretty amazing. She was also an artist, but a real one, the kind that did art every freaking day. I've gotten to know her even more intimately through all the work she left behind. If any of you have enjoyed my art over the years, you can thank her. I was blessed with her keen sense of color, her strong sense of design, and her lovely, lovely drawing skills. 

Being without her is weird. I'm still struggling. Everything has changed. My art has gotten crazy, my moods are everywhere, I've started a couple dozen projects without finishing one. Luckily (and boy, am I lucky) my relationships with my family and friends are tighter and stronger than ever. 

A good friend—who's no doubt reading this—says you never really get over losing your mom and I can see that is gonna be true for me, too. Thinking of my mom is like sitting in front of a hot plate I want to touch. I know if I do, it's gonna hurt, hurt, hurt, so I don't. And now I'm just numb. 

Yikes.

So I guess all I want to say is I haven't left fandom. I'm still writing and hope to post something soon. More than that, I'm still reading your posts and loving your adventures and feeling little bits of happiness that you're all still around and kicking it. 

I hope 2024 brings us something good (okay, stop laughing).

Love, even though I haven't met some of you,
x